Looking Out For No.1: The Price Of Solitude

   

      I wake up with a smile after getting kissed by my wonderfully fit and handsome husband. The bed makes itself as I go take a shower. Coming down to eat with the family, breakfast has been magically laid out beforehand and looks like a brunch buffet from Edsa Shangri-La Hotel. There are no  dishes to be washed as they are washed and dried by fairies and happily hop back into the cupboards after. After going online and returning emails I then head out to late lunch with friends. I briefly check on my multi-million dollar business after and then proceed to an afternoon of shopping or the gym. I end the day with a light dinner at a fancy restaurant with the hubby and kids. Right at that moment I accidentally bump a basket full of bills that fall directly on my face. And then I wake up. Damn!
   
     With no wonderful husband, no stellar career and no shopping sprees (Everything my life should have been but isn't), what do I do? Like what I've been doing for the past 25 years. Surviving. It is an arduous journey (The result of a few wrong turns here and there) but I take it one day at a time. If there is anything I learned all these years is to be my own best buddy. I go on solo dates, take myself to the doctor and buy my own medicine when I am sick, shop and cook my meals and buy my own chocolate and flowers. Like what millenials say, "You deal". Sure there are nights you long for someone to talk to, make plans with or just laugh at silly things with. I tell you those moments are fleeting and you get over them soon enough.

     Still I'm lucky in all sorts of ways. I have my siblings and their families who are behind me and love me no matter what. I have a son who loves me fiercely. I have a roof above my head, I have a bed to sleep in, we have food, water and electricity. And I have my health, well sort of.

     One day my son will be married and I will be alone. He claims he will never leave me but still I gotta prepare. What do I do then? That's the reason why I have all sorts of hobbies to occupy my time. I can paint the hours away, work on my scrapbook pages, go on a photowalk, or experiment on a new recipe for the blog. I also have a few close friends I am in touch with constantly. They make me laugh and are always there to listen to me rant (Thanks, ladies!).

     Another birthday makes me evaluate my life. And I am reminded of a saying that to go forward in life a person needs only three things: someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to. In all honesty I think I am covered in all aspects. I love my family and friends. I have so much I need to do still and I look forward to being a grandma.

     So even if there are days I just want to watch a movie or have coffee with someone on a cold, dreary day, it doesn't matter at all. There's my family and  I can do all those things alone if I wanted to. It is possible because I enjoy my own company. To be alone but not lonely is the most important life-saving thing. And like any skill, it can be learned.